December 2009

This month we get into the Christmas spirit with theft, violence, greed, incompetence and other everyday stories from the business world.

• Wike v. Squirrel
• Dear D. Wike
• Navel Gazing
• Is Your Customer A Twit?
• I’ve Called (Again) To Say Nothing!
• Help Your Employees to Leave
• Location, Location and Google Maps
• Circulation Details
• And Finally
  

Wike v. Squirrel

Throughout much of the year a grey squirrel has been a regular at my bird feeder. Despite its strenuous efforts it was unable to break in and had to content itself with nibbling nuts through the wire mesh in the same way as the birds. The birds and the squirrel take turns so all are happy. Then, where the squirrel had failed, a woodpecker succeeded in opening up the mesh. Now the squirrel is in a nut-fuelled frenzy and all previous restraint and moderation abandoned. The last week and a half has gone like this:
1. New feeder bought with release mechanism for base to allow cleaning. Squirrel says thanks very much as it operates quick release and deposits nuts on lawn to be eaten at leisure.
2. Feeder moved to out of reach location. Squirrel reaches it and drops on floor – result as above.
3. Feeder wired in position to prevent removal. Squirrel switches attention to another feeder on tree.
4. Feeder on tree suspended on long wire out of reach. Squirrel hauls up wire and unhooks from tree, drops feeder on floor as before.
5. Feeder attachment wire fixed to tree to prevent removal. Squirrel hauls up, removes top, turns upside down and empties contents on floor.
6. Top held in position by wire. Two days without attack, then I witness violence I would not have thought possible from a squirrel as it hauls the feeder up and gives it such a shaking that the top comes loose and the nuts are spilled again.
7. Top now firmly wired in position so no chance of a break in … is there?
8. This morning there has been a sustained and violent attack but so far the defences have held.

What’s all this got to do with business? Not much but it is nearly Christmas! Hang on though. Isn’t the squirrel like a lot of MPs? If it had contented itself with the odd visit and nibbling a few nuts I wouldn’t have objected. But when it pushed its luck too far my tolerance was exhausted and I took action to remove its nut allowance. The Chancellor has now slapped a tax on the nut bonus of banking squirrels. What next? Often small business can operate under the nose of larger competitors until they start to become a threat and are then squeezed hard. Learn from the squirrel’s mistakes and don’t be too greedy!


Dear D. Wike

I received a communication from De Vere hotels. The letter started off ‘Dear D. Wike’. My hackles were up immediately and any hope they had of gaining attention for the letter’s content was lost. A few days later I received a repeat of the same letter. So not only do they not know/care about the correct form of address, their mailing arrangements are inefficient.

Digressing slightly – well, quite a big digression actually (but it’s nearly Christmas) – when I was at school the boys were addressed by their surnames, the girls by first names. However, for some reason known only to her, one teacher always addressed one boy by his first name. Which was unfortunate as she had a slight speech impediment. Even Wobert was at a loss as to why she addressed him so.


Navel Gazing

Many people will be aware that the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra is a mighty fine orchestra. But I bet not many know that their marketing manager is on maternity leave. Whilst I am very happy for the lady, I’m not sure that I needed to know. In fact I only found out when I received a mailing from them signed: Anna Ambrose, Marketing Manager (maternity cover).

Do I, or any other recipient of the communication, need to know that Ms Ambrose is there temporarily? But if CBSO feel it is important, can’t she just sign as Acting Marketing Manager? I think it extremely unlikely that the customer will care. They just want to know if there are any concerts of interest to them.


Is Your Customer A Twit?

Social Media is the new marketing currency. There are companies specialising in telling us how to use it more effectively. Whilst writing this item I flicked across to Twitter and what did I see? A short article on the use of social media on the business website The Start Up Donut: http://bit.ly/4oeaJY.

The reality is that you should not rely on a single approach to promote your business. Relying entirely on Twitter or Facebook probably won’t get you very far. Social media is just another means to communicate with customers or potential customers. It should be a means of building a relationship but doesn’t replace physical networking or telephone conversations any more than a website replaces more personal contact. But equally you cannot afford to ignore social media as a means of developing a relationship with your customers.


I’ve Called (Again) To Say Nothing!

The March 2008 Ramble started with the following words: “So why would anyone call to say nothing? Because it gives us the opportunity to tell a customer that we are ‘on the case’ even if we don’t have a conclusion to whatever we might be doing.”

The original item was prompted by my experience when asking an organisation to give me a quote for something. My follow up emails and phone calls were answered by silence. I had no idea whether I’d been overlooked or whether they were on the case but it was taking a time to resolve. As it happened it was the latter. But I was extremely frustrated by the lack of response or progress report and determined not to use them again.

In December 2009 it seems that things haven’t improved much. Recently I have heard of several cases where there has been a failure to follow up on enquiries, leading to frustration and, probably, a decision to take business elsewhere.

Everyone can overlook things occasionally. I’m sure I’ve done it a few times. But to make a habit of it begins to look like carelessness.

PS – I’ll try harder in 2010!


Help Your Employees to Leave

For her next book, ‘Working 5 to 9 – How To Start A Business In Your Spare Time’, Enterprise Nation’s Emma Jones will be profiling around 50 people who are running their businesses evenings and weekends after finishing their ‘day job’. The vast majority are doing so with the knowledge, and in many cases, the support of their current employers.

A good many of these entrepreneurs will eventually leave to run their businesses full time. However, in the meantime it seems that their employers have the benefit of more fulfilled and motivated employees. So perhaps you should encourage all of your team to become entrepreneurial in their spare time. In fact perhaps you should buy them all a copy of Emma’s book when it’s published in the Spring. I’ll keep you posted on publication date or register here: www.working5to9.co.uk. (Inside information suggests that publication may be a little later than advertised)


Location, Location and Google Maps

Have you moved? You may not think so but Google Maps may have a different view. I was looking at a Birmingham organisation and zoomed right in to check its location. Then I spotted several names that I recognised and realised that they were pinpointed quite some way off their actual positions.

Then I was checking links to Stourbridge Speakers Club website and clicked on the map to the venue (the Talbot hotel). Good heavens, someone’s moved the place a couple of hundred yards up the High Street. I know that the link did point to the right location because I put it there. Clearly Google have been playing around with their maps so that the link coding has changed slightly. You will be pleased to know that this ancient coaching inn is now restored to its usual place on the High Street … or it was last time I looked.

Might be worth checking that Mr. Google hasn’t moved your office or shop down the road.


And Finally

As an appropriate follow up to last month’s ‘Does the boss know what he’s doing?’, here is another gem from John Niland’s Success121 newsletter. By the way, anyone involved with marketing might do well to sign up at www.Success121.com for John’s free webinar on January 27th on Research Led Marketing.
Anyway, as it’s nearly Christmas, what better time for a Corporate Shake-Up! Read on:

Feeling it was time for a shake-up, an organisation hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make £250 a week. Why?"

The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy £1,000 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."


Oops!
Hope you enjoy your turkey pizzas, see you next year,

David